


Hawke and Anders Talk It Out

by Kess, mevipodfic (mevima)



Series: Dragon Age Conversations [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Audio Format: MP3, Fluff, M/M, Podfic, Safewords
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-20 21:37:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4803068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kess/pseuds/Kess, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mevima/pseuds/mevipodfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The adventures of Kess + Mevi!</p><p>Audio recordings of character conversations. Not necessarily Hawke and Anders. We take prompts!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. YOU CAN'T FUCK DOG

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so we started with a weird one :D

[Listen.](http://dragonagepodfic.parakaproductions.com/aopod/mevima/kess+mevi/You%20CANT%20FUCK%20DOG%20Final.mp3) (566kb)

Transcript:

(Justice) "Why has Dog given me a root vegetable?" ::curious::  
(hawke, in all seriousness) It's because he loves you and wants to be your cuddle buddy.  
  
(Justice) "So, you are Anders' "cuddle buddy." ::nods, deciding that's true::  
(hawke, choking a bit, coughing) Ahhhhh no? I mean, maybe? We're, ah. A bit... different. It's different.  
  
(Justice) "And being the mabari's cuddle buddy would be different how?" ::honestly curious::  
(hawke, amused and recovering from blushy face from last question) Well, you don't fuck your dog.  
  
(Justice) ::looks at Dog:: "I am told they are highly intelligent." ::matter-of-fact::  
(hawke, alarmed) YOU CANT FUCK DOG.


	2. Meredith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Safewords.

[Listen.](http://dragonagepodfic.parakaproductions.com/aopod/mevima/kess+mevi/Meredith.mp3) (481kb)

Transcript:

Hawke: ::concerned:: "Let me know if you need me to stop..."  
Anders: ::grin:: "Don't worry. I'll say 'Meredith' if I want you to stop."  
Hawke: ::blink:: "Um... what? Why wouldn't you just say 'stop'...?"  
Anders: ::sultry look, bats eyes:: "Well, what if I want to say 'stop', but what I really want is for you to keep going?"  
Hawke: "I don't really understand, but..." ::getting more confident:: "I think I like this plan."


	3. Long Day at the Clinic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by TheThirdAmell.
> 
> This one is so soothing.

[Listen.](http://dragonagepodfic.parakaproductions.com/aopod/mevima/kess+mevi/long%20day%20at%20the%20clinic.mp3) (672kb)

Transcript:

H: Long day at the clinic, love?  
A: What gave me away?  
H: You've got more Circles under your eyes than all of Thedas. Here, give me your coat and put your feet up. Justice is pushing you too hard.  
A: It's not him. It's this winter. It's murder on the refugees. Literally. I can't help it if I have to stay late.   
H: I was joking, love. Boots too. Off.   
A: What about you? Have fun hobnobbing with the nobility?  
H: The usual pomp and fromp. I missed you.   
A: I missed you too, love.


	4. Name Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with cat! Thank Kess for the wonderful sound effects.

[Listen.](http://dragonagepodfic.parakaproductions.com/aopod/mevima/kess+mevi/Name%20Day%20Cat.mp3) (642kb)

Transcript:

Anders: ::confused:: Hawke... what is this?  
Hawke: It's a present, obviously.  
Anders: ::dubious:: I... yes. I'm surprised you remembered. Um, love, the box is shaking.  
Hawke: You'd better open it then.  
::pause::  
Anders: ::gasps:: Where did you even find a kitten in Kirkwall?! But - Hawke, please don't just pack a cat in a box, that's really not okay.  
Hawke: ::shrug:: The cat seems fine to me. Happy name day, love.


	5. Hawke's a Dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angsty. This is one of my favourites.

[Listen.](http://dragonagepodfic.parakaproductions.com/aopod/mevima/kess+mevi/Youre%20such%20a%20dick%20Hawke.mp3) (331kb)

Transcript:

Anders: ::panicked:: Shit, shit, shit. Here, hold this - right here - no, hold his skin together, fuck!  
Hawke: ::strained, unconvincingly:: It's just a scratch?  
Anders: It's not a scratch! Hold bloody still!  
Hawke: Sorry. ::pain:: Hard to keep still with your hands on me.  
Anders: ::teary:: You're such a dick, Hawke!


	6. Hawke No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Hawke no" "HAWKE YES" - also, a dragon. Required.

[Listen.](http://dragonagepodfic.parakaproductions.com/aopod/mevima/kess+mevi/that's%20a%20dragon.mp3) (241kb)

Transcript:

Hawke: ::wide-eyed:: That's a DRAGON.  
Anders: ::worried:: Yes, and oh look, it's breathing fire.  
Hawke: ::awe:: I WANT IT.  
Anders: Hawke... no.  
Hawke: HAWKE YES.


	7. Justice Is Filthy (Justice & Anders, Justice/Fenris, Anders/Hawke, Rated M)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is definitely rated M! Justice & Anders talk, background pairings Anders/Hawke and Justice/Fenris.

[Listen.](http://dragonagepodfic.parakaproductions.com/aopod/mevima/kess+mevi/Justice%20Is%20Filthy.mp3) (2.6MB)

Transcript:

Anders: You filthy lyrium licker.  
Justice: I am not filthy!  
Anders: Suuuuuuure.  
Anders: And the rimming thing was a one off?  
Justice: I could touch his lines anywhere, forever. This is still not filthy.  
Anders: Yeah but when you touch the lines and think about having all that inside of you, it sort of is.  
Justice: I am beginning to think you are using a different meaning for the word "filthy."  
Anders: Yes. Debauched. Nastay. Justice, really, you know exactly what I mean.  
Justice: None of what I do to Fenris is nasty. It is all beautiful. The way his lyrium sings to me, how it tastes, how he moves in response...  
Anders: Justice! I hate the guy. Hate him. Please, for the LOVE of the holy good Maker, DO NOT TELL ME how it feels to fuck him.  
Justice: Why? You have seen it as well as I have, this is not a secret.  
Anders: It's..I. It just, um. ::blushes:: I don't like him? But when you tell me how he feels and when I see him standing over you...  
Anders: I wanna hit him.  
Justice: You will not hit my lyrium elf!  
Anders: Tie him up and hit him. He is infuriating, Justice.  
Justice: ...tying him up - this is something you and Hawke do together. I am confused about your true feelings. You are confused about your feelings, I think.  
Anders: I am not, I just want him to shut his Maker-damned mouth for once!  
Justice: Do you wish for me to gag him when we have sex?  
Anders: NO JUST FACEFUCK HIM I mean oh Maker, Justice, I'm so sorry.  
Justice: I... ::frowns:: I could not touch the lyrium that way. Perhaps... I have watched you and Hawke put your mouths on each other at the same time. Would this do?  
Anders: Yes. It'll be a bit trickier because you've got more of a size difference than Hawke and I but... Justice. How did you manage to get me to answer this. I don't want to talk about Fenris in bed lalalalala  
Justice: You have told me many things, despite saying you don't wish to talk about it. Thank you. I will consider this alternative to gagging or facefucking my elf, to make you more comfortable.  
Anders: Uh. Thanks Justice. I'm just gonna. Go to Hawke's now. Yes, yes, work, I know. But I want to suck someone's dick and I'm certainly not sucking Fenris's.


End file.
